The Diary of Pan Qingfu
by Megaroni
Summary: Based on Iron and Silk by Mark Salzman, the story from Pan's point of view. Originally a school assignment.


Author's Note: OK, I basically do Harry Potter fics, but I had to do this as a project, so I figured I'd post this. Once again, based on Iron and Silk by Mark Salzman. If you haven't read it, I suggest you do, it's pretty good, and if you haven't, I also suggest you DON'T read this. Please review!  
  
March 13, 1982  
Today, I was teaching my regular class at the Provincial Sports Complex when something out of the ordinary happened. After talking with the students for a while, I noticed we had a guest, and went over to greet him. He was introduced to me as Professor Mr. Sima, a wushu expert. He had performed successfully many times in China. I was told that he had practiced wushu for nine years before coming to China and excelled at "Drunken Fist." Knowing the Chinese ritual of exaggerating a foreigner's accomplishments, I wondered how much of this was true. I was very interested in this foreigner. After introductions, we sat down and talked about how Mark, as I was to call him, knew Chinese and was living in China. Throughout our conversation, I had to instruct the students. I felt guilty interrupting our conversation countless times, but how will my students learn if I do not instruct them?  
After all the students had practiced their routines, I introduced our guest and asked him to give a wushu demonstration for us. Mark seemed reluctant, but eventually demonstrated an American form I had never heard of, called "On the Street Boxing"(a combination of Asian martial arts, Western boxing, and African dancing rhythm). After the demonstration, I told him that what he showed us was not gong fu, but we could fix it. Mark took up my offer and became my student.  
He is like no one I have ever trained before, because he is a foreigner. He is also the first private student I've ever taken. I have trained professionals since 1962, but never before have I had a private student. I do not mean to brag, but every day I receive many requests to train people, and I take only a few of these. I wonder if this new student realizes this.  
  
March 15, 1982  
Mark and I had our first lesson today. We will meet four times a week in the training hall, at night, after everyone else has left. I felt this was better. I have to teach Mark from the beginning, and I do not want him to be embarrassed in front of the other students. One of our first excersises was to stare at each other for a long time. We had to stare with equal intensity. I can see that Mark is puzzled by this exercise. He does not understand what this has to do with wushu, but he will know. I draw my strength from my eyes, and this is my way of passing it on to him. I warned him to be prepared when we stared: I might attack at anytime. This taught my student to expect the unexpected. When you are facing someone outside of a class, they will not let you know what they are going to do. They will not stick to a routine. You must be prepared.   
  
April 5, 1982  
Tonight I ended practice early and brought Mark to my home. My wife prepared some snacks for our guest. Mark tried to make conversation with my teen-aged sons, but they did not talk much. I don't thinks Mark truly understands Chinese culture yet, or he wouldn't have been so surprised by this. My sons simply answered the questions they were asked, as we have taught them to do. They are also probably shy talking with a foreigner.   
During the evening, I told my student many stories of my wushu days. When my wife came to check on us, Mark asked her if she had ever been afraid for my safety. She replied that she sometimes worried I'd be late for dinner. Her comment pleased me: she felt I was skilled enough to take care of the situation without putting myself in danger and had faith in me. I later told Mark the story about the time I performed one thousand and seven spear thrusts, one of my personal favorite stories. I am proud of this story. People were saying that is was impossible to throw a spear one thousand times, but I proved them wrong. Not only did I reach one thousand, but I surpassed that number. Mark seemed to be very impressed by the story. I saw him looking at the scar tissue on my left hand, which stands as proof that I did the spear thrusts. That seemed to assure him that what I said was true.  
  
May 21, 1982  
This evening, Mark and I practiced "Changquan" or "Long Fist". Mark was not doing well with the form and asked me if he should discontinue the training. I think this was the only time I've ever gotten angry with Mark: true, I've gotten upset if he did not do well, but I had never gotten angry. But this made me mad! He thought he should quit just because he wasn't doing well. If he doesn't keep at it, how will be get better?! I have never started something that I didn't finish, and I told him so. "When I say I will do something, I do it, exactly as I said I would. In my whole life, I have never started something without finishing it. I said that in the time we have, I would make your wushu better than you could imagine, and I will. Your only responsibility to me is to practice and to learn. My responsibility to you is much greater! Every time you think your task is too great, think how much greater mine is. Just keep this in mind: if you fail, I will lose face."   
My speech to him seemed to have the desired effect. But there was another responsibility for Mark. I asked him to teach me English. I figured that since Mark was an English teacher, he would be an obvious choice for a teacher. I didn't need to be able to speak fluently. I just wanted to be able to speak to the movie crews in English. I just needed to know how to say some phrases in English. I asked Mark if he would teach me English. He would, so we arranged to meet at my house on Tuesday. I figured this would be a good day, as we were not training that day and we wouldn't be as tired.   
  
June 18, 1982  
Today was my first English lesson. Before Mark arrived, I took out large paper and a few markers. I wrote down all the phrases I wished to learn to say, such as "We'll need a spotlight over there," "These mats aren't springy enough," and "Don't worry, it's just a shoulder dislocation." I set out a tape recorder with a fresh tape in it. I also had my wife prepare some food that way we would not have to break for dinner. When Mark arrived, he was carrying many English books with him. I was not interested in these books and I explained to him what I wanted him to do: he would write out the translation to each of the phrases. Then he would record each phrase five times so that I would know how to say it. I explained that he would have to say each phrase slowly, that way I would have time to repeat it when I listened to the tape by myself. The translations took about two and a half hours. Mark seemed reluctant to do the recordings. He wanted to teach me the alphabet, but I told him that was too slow for me. Mark did not want to do all of the recordings tonight. He figured it would take too long, as dinner was only three hours away. He wanted to do only half tonight. I told him that I had food, so we would not have to break. I listened carefully as he said each phrase. When he was nearly done with the first phrase, I passed him a note saying "Better read it six times and a little slower." I am a fast learner, just not that fast.  
  
September 10, 1982  
Today, I told Mark that he should begin to teach me routines. He seemed confused, so I explained to him. "Everything, including language, is like wushu. First you learn the basic moves, or words, then you string them together to make routines." I took out a large piece of paper. On the paper, I had taped smaller pieces of paper. I wanted Mark to write the story "How Yu Gong Moved the Mountain" on it. I also wanted him to record the story, that way I could listen to the story and read it at the same time.   
  
September 23, 1982  
Tonight, I invited Mark's American friends Bill, Bob, and Marcy to dinner. I had them also record the story, that way I can hear it read different. Then I recited my favorite phrases for them and asked them to correct any mistakes. I was nervous for two reasons: I wanted to impress Mark's friends, and I wanted to do a good job so that Mark would not lose face.   
Mark and I have been working hard with wushu, not just English. I have been teaching Mark traditional weapons. We have a system with the training: I show him one move, then Mark does that move over and over until he can do it ten times flawlessly. Mark is working hard, but he is still struggling. Although, I'm sure he feels the same way about my English training.  
  
December 2, 1982  
I have not written in a long time because I have been at a competition. The competition was in Singapore, and we also competed in Hong Kong. We did very well. As much as I enjoy traveling with my students, I have lost valuable practice time with Mark, in both English and wushu. Hopefully, Mark has practiced diligently like I asked him to.  
A while back, I saw a letter of Mark's written in script. I was taken by the beauty of the letter. I have finally persuaded Mark to teach me script. We will begin soon. Neither Mark nor my wife agree with my choice. They think I should learn print first and understand the alphabet. But that is not the way I am. I prefer to do things my way. And so I will.  
February 13, 1983  
Once again, I have been away at a competition. This time I was away for a rather long time. We were in Shanghai this trip.   
I noticed when I returned to Hunan that my stomach pains were worse than ever. I've had them for years, but I'm too busy to do anything about them. It especially hurt when I sat down.  
I woke up the other day to find myself in the hospital. I was told that I had collapsed. The doctors wanted to keep me for observation, but I wanted to leave. I would not let them put in an IV either. That would limit the use of my hands. I figured that since I had peace and quiet in the hospital, I could practice my script. My time in the hospital would not be wasted. Mark came to the hospital after his class. He arranged for me to meet a specialist. I was nervous about going to the doctor, so I had Mark accompany me. Once I met the doctor, Mark left.   
I saw Mark a few weeks later. Apparently he had talked to my doctor. The doctor told him that I had an ulcer, a gall bladder disorder, heart disease, and another problem that the doctor didn't understand. He also told Mark that I would not stay in the hospital for treatment. Mark asked me why I would not undergo treatment. I explained that the National Competition was a few weeks away. If I was in the hospital for a few months, my athletes would lose heart. "I'm their trainer." I told him. "I said I would take them to the Nationals, and I will."  
  
March 24, 1983  
Mark did not return home to America this break. He figured that by staying we could practice undisturbed. However, I was called away to work on a movie. Mark told me that he would still practice.  
When I returned, I decided to visit Mark and check on his progress. When I arrived at the college, I found Mark sprawled on the ground. He had fallen in the ice. I was surprised that he was practicing, as it was snowing. I asked him "Don't you know it's snowing out?" "Yes..." he replied. "Then why are you practicing?" He seemed surprised that I had asked him this. It is true that I wanted him to be diligent, but it was absurd for him to practice in the snow. He was putting himself in danger. As it was, he had already twisted his knee.  
  
June 27, 1983  
So busy!! Between Mark's wushu lessons, my English lessons, and training the troupe, I hardly have any free time! I will be going to another competition again. I don't remember where, but does it really matter? They are really all the same. Well, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic, but still! I usually love going to these competitions. I watch in pride as my students compete and do well. But this year, I am not enjoying them so much. Perhaps it is because I must leave Mark. Whenever I come back from a trip, we have so much catching up to do! I wish that he could accompany me on the trips. It would be a good learning experience. But he is busy at the College too.  
  
October 18, 1983  
I am finally back from competition. But the details of that are not interesting. Instead, I shall write about something I realized. Mark will go home in August. And I mean go home. He will not come back, like he does with breaks. He is going to the United States to live there again. That means we have less than a year left of training. How will we learn everything!? Mark and I must work extra hard in the next months.  
  
January 11, 1984  
Today at practice, one of my female students was practicing with the dadao. When she first learned this weapon, I was very pleased. It is a difficult weapon for anyone to wield. Yet here she was, this very petite woman, using it expertly. But now that I know she can use it, I expect her to dedicate herself to it. She was not doing her routine properly today, and I was becoming angry. She can do better!  
I took the dadao from her and showed her what she should do on her partner. I did the woman's routine perfectly the first two times(which is expected as I have been using the dadao for years.) I noticed that the entire training hall was watching, so I decided to really give them something to look at. The third time over the woman's back, I did a move that launched the decorations from her pigtails across the room.  
Everyone seemed impressed, including Mark, who had come to watch the practice. Mark seemed a little worried though. He sat quietly for a while (I could tell by the look on his face that he was lost in thought). He then asked me, "What if you had made a mistake?" I replied "I never make mistakes."  
  
March 25, 1984  
Now I have something else on my plate! I am still trying to return to North China. All the work to be done about that! I must fill out an official request and many other papers. But it will all be worth it if I can go back home.  
  
May 20, 1984  
Today I stopped practice early. I told Mark that we had little time left, for he would be leaving in August. I decided that there was no more time for English practice, only wushu. Besides, I do have his English tapes to work off of when he leaves. I asked him what form of wushu he wanted to learn most. Mark replied that he wanted to learn the long sword. I don't feel comfortable teaching it to him, as I have never taught it to anyone before. It is a very difficult form. But I'd promised him that I'd teach him whatever form he wanted. I warned him that if he wielded it poorly, I would be "very, very sad."  
  
June 3, 1984  
Mark and I have been so busy. Teaching him long sword is proving difficult. I had to find a suitable substitute for the sword. I could not have him practice with the sword, as he might get hurt. I decided to use broom handles. Our practices are a lot less fun now, because we must concentrate.  
  
August 4, 1984  
I have been too busy with Mark to write. Today, Mark returns home. I had not seen him in a long time, as I had been called away to North China. I knew last night was our last chance for training. I went to Mark's house, and this time I brought actual long swords. We went up to the bathhouse to practice. As we practiced, we joked and laughed. Mark performed wonderfully. I told him to take the sword with him. We had completed our training.  
I also told Mark that I would be returning to North China today. I explained that for years, I have wanted to return home, and finally, my wish had been granted. I write this on the train ride to North China. Today, Mark goes home. And so do I.  
  
  



End file.
